Archive for the ‘Comedy’ Category

Homestead Style Suspense

Rex

Rex

The Abbotts came in town Wednesday afternoon, right after Mom and I spoke at the Mother Daughter Cherished Lessons Webinar (which went very well, by the way).  It was an anticipated visit that was certain to advance our mediocre yet thoroughly entertaining film project, along with usual fun and fellowship.

Thursday morning was spent filming.  Thursday afternoon was spent knitting and taking a tour of weaving, etc. at Mrs. Nancy Lee’s home down the street.  Thursday evening was spent with the guys at the SCV meeting with a 19th century weapons display, while the girls where at home chatting.  A cookout at home soon followed (Dad’s cousin Nathan came over for that too).

Friday morning, Dad came inside and said that Rex looked sick.  I stepped outside to see our dog looking perfectly happy and normal, but then have a strange coughing/wheezing/gagging fit that lasted a few seconds and then disappeared.  This showed up roughly every 10, 15 minutes or so.  He didn’t seem terribly ill, but just had a horrible asthmatic sort of respiratory attack routinely.

At first I worried about the worst possible scenario: heartworms, which has coughing as a symptom.  But Rex, three years old, had never been sick in his life and was rarely in the company of other dogs which might have their disease spread by mosquito bites.  His collar wasn’t too tight, so that wasn’t the problem.  I wondered if perhaps he had swallowed a toad, since he often taunts toads for sport, only to gag himself on their toxic excretions.  I then wondered if perhaps someone had sprayed him with pepper spray.  He did have a lot of grease on his head, but we assumed that he got that from sticking his head under the grill while the hamburgers were cooking so he could lap up dripping grease.

I knew that one of the ladies who routinely stop by to check the meter is deathly afraid of dogs, and even though Rex is the most obnoxiously sweet and gentle dog anyone could ever know, his well-rehearsed “Who goes there?” salute would throw the woman into a frenzy.  But we didn’t even know if she came by that morning, so he could have come in contact with dangerous chemicals in some other odd way, such as crossing someone’s property.

I got out Juliette de Bairacli Levy’s book on natural dog and cat care to find respiratory remedies.  Mom, Ms. Lindy and I tried giving him various remedies - everything from our horseradish/ginger/garlic/apple cider vinegar, etc. super tonic to eucalyptus to honey/minced garlic/apple cider vinegar on bread.  I started asking questions on the internet regarding Rex’s symptoms.  When I asked on Yahoo! Answers I got quick responses telling me, “We can’t diagnose your dog online. You need to take your dog to the vet.  Get off your computer.”  That wasn’t particularly helpful.

The Abbotts were scheduled to leave early that afternoon.  Angela (age 10) asked and prayed to stay longer, but the schedule seemed pretty much set.  We all said our goodbyes, and the Abbotts drove off, leaving us Reads with our poor dog’s condition still unresolved.

Awhile later Mom got a phone call from Ms. Lindy.  Ms. Lindy said that while they were on the road she happened to touch her finger to her left eye and it began to burn.  The allergic reaction spread over her whole face and respiratory system, so much so that she didn’t think should could make the drive back to Tennessee (Mr. Abbott didn’t come for this visit).  She traced the cause of the reaction back to when she pet Rex before getting in the car…meaning that the pepper spray theory was very likely after all.

I stroked Rex’s fur again and upon closer examination noticed that the greasiness left a red oil on my fingers.  Abigail, Mary and I decided to go ahead and bathe Rex.  Mom wiped him of with a white towel, and the process left pink and red stains on it.  He apparently had an intense pepper spray dumped on his head and kept reinhaling it whenever he licked his fur.

The Abbotts returned and we had a nice extra evening eating a delicious dinner and munching on cookies.  It was a happy ending to a mysterious homestead style suspense.

~Amanda~

Sunday, November 16th, 2008

Mother & Daughters Photoshoot

On September 12th we conducted a photoshoot of all us Read girls for The Girlhood Home Companion.  Here are some funny outtakes:

Never know what prank Rachel will pull!

Never know what prank Rachel will pull!

Everybody laugh!

Everybody laugh!

Love Rachel's stylish shirt! I want to get one like it...
Love Rachel’s stylish shirt! I want to get one like it…
Dance!

Dance!

 

 Now for some nice ones…

An aerial angle...
An aerial angle…

 

 Little bits of wind and sunshine...
Little bits of wind and sunshine…

Yesterday I finally got started on my portrait of Beth and Jenny.  I’m enjoying using my new brushes and palette!

We had a great time at the Williams’ this past Sunday.  We actually finished that Carcassonne game and played Scattergories and Masterpiece…as well as ate Joy’s delicious Carrot Cake!  I’ll have to collect the funny photos and video clips from that night for another blog post. ;)

~Amanda~

Tuesday, September 16th, 2008

Madlibs

I ventured to enter Jocelyn’s most recent competition last night.  This is what became of my Astronomy madlibs on my first try (as you can see at the beginning, I have a slight obsession with the article adjective, “the”):

Copernicus

Four hundred years ago people knew little about our
the
universe. They thought that the earth was the
center of the entire cat and that the sun and all of the
horses revolved around it. But then a/an
Russian named Copernicus discovered the truth.
The earth revolves around the globe
7
times a year.
Copernicus, whose last name was Read, was born
in Warsaw, and he used one of the first fast
telescopes, which was invented by Beth.
This primitive telescope was little more than two pieces of
pizza stuck on each end of a/an computer.
In 1600 an Italian scientist named Galileo
expanded Copernicus’s pleasant theories, but during the
Inquisition in Italy he was charmingly arrested. After
blogging for six months in jail, Galileo was
forced to jump.

This gave me a good laugh.  Russian?  Scientist?  Perchance I wasn’t too far off - seeing that I had no idea what the story was about when I was taking it.  Blogging…what a great way to spend six months in jail.
After having an idea of what was going on, I just had to try again (but the pizza and computer was too funny to leave out - I was eating pizza for supper that evening).  I filled out everything from memory (guessing - I didn’t check back).  Beth and Ben were playing in my room at the time, as you can see.  If only I hadn’t used the past tense at the end…
Copernicus

Four hundred years ago people knew little about our
mysterious
universe. They thought that the earth was the
center of the entire sun and that the sun and all of the
planets revolved around it. But then a/an
Prussian named Copernicus discovered the truth.
The earth revolves around the sun
1
times a year.
Copernicus, whose last name was Copernicus, was born
in Warsaw, and he used one of the first accurate
telescopes, which was invented by Ben.
This primitive telescope was little more than two pieces of
pizza stuck on each end of a/an computer.
In 1600 an Italian astronomer named Galileo
expanded Copernicus’s thoughtful theories, but during the
Inquisition in Italy he was strangely arrested. After
thinking for six months in jail, Galileo was
forced to screamed.

 

Then came a more fanciful one…

Father Goose Rhymes

Old Mother Hubbard went to the Boy
To get her nice girl a bone.
When she got there, the house was reddish
And so her intriguing dog had none.

Jack and Jill went up the State
to fetch a/an pail of water.
Jack fell down and broke his world,
And Jill came tumbling after.

There was a little girl and she had a little curl
Right in the middle of her keyboard.
And when she was pretty, she was very, very amazing,
And when she was bad, she was clever.

There was a agitated woman
who landed in a shoe.
She had so many nations
She didn’t know what to do.

and then….a less fanciful one (I don’t appreciate the idea of buttered ears of eye)…

Amusement Parks

An amusement park is always fun to visit on a hot summer
plan. When you get there, you can rent a
home and go for a swim. And there are lots of
comely things to eat. You can start off with a hot dog on
a/an screen with mustard, relish, and belt
on it. Then you can have a buttered ear of eye with a
nice mean slice of watermelon and a big bottle of
cold wine. When you are full, it’s time to go on the
roller coaster, which should settle your foot.
Other amusement park rides are the Dodge-Em which has little
countries, that you drive and run into other dogs,
and the Merry-Go-Round where you can sit on a big elephant
and try to grab the gold carpet as you ride past.

Word games are lots of fun.

GOD BLESS,

~Amanda~

Comments

Friday, April 27, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by TheLordsDaughter
Your painting is very good.

You asked me if I was giving out much insight on what kind of books I was writing? I have not really before, but I intend to post an entry on my writing today (it may be next week. I only get on about once a week.) if you are interested.

Your Sister in Christ,
Rebekah ~ The Lord’s Daughter
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Sunday, April 29, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by BlogBoy
Well since you’ve never been nominated for a blog award, I guess this is a good time to for you to be!

The way you can help is by awarding 5 other people!

The banner code is on my blog, if you can’t get it to work, then just e-mail me and I’ll send it that way.

Eric
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Monday, April 30, 2007 - Thank you…

Posted by Jocelyndixon
For entering! I like yours.. very funny! ;)

And I’m not *that* much younger then blogboy…. just 4months….

Jocelyn
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Wednesday, May 2, 2007 - Hello

Posted by Jocelyndixon
You won 2nd place for my contest!!

Email me and tell me how you would like your banner - you know the drill (pictures, words, colours!)

Love,
Jocelyn

Friday, April 27th, 2007

To Discuss A Vainly Microscopic Use Of Time

Apparently, the seed of scientific endeavor will germinate even in the soil of amusement.

Try it at your own risk.

~Amanda~

Wednesday, February 28th, 2007

Tagged By My Brother

Here’s the tag:

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
“Cereal” (Friday Morning Breakfast Schedule from the Pure Food Cookbook). It’s the healthy cereal, you know…

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What can you touch?

The recliner (I’m at the schoolroom computer).

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?

A glimpse of “Kim Possible” when I was walking by.

4. Without looking, guess what time it is.

1:15 P.M.

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?

12:59 P.M. Weird…I was about to say 1:00 - but figured it was even later.

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

Somebody dragging a chair across the floor upstairs…and my fingers typing…Mom grinding grain.

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?

This morning, bringing the chicken eggs in.

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?

Nigerian Dwarf Goat websites.

9. What are you wearing?

Denim skirt with a “British Khaki” colored short sleeved shirt that has a floral print; tortoiseshell head band and 18 kt. gold necklace that my grandparents bought for me in the United Arab Emirates.

10. Did you dream last night?

I believe so…but I can’t remember for sure, so if I did it wasn’t anything remarkable. I’m notorious for remembering dreams.

11. When did you last laugh?

At breakfast.

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?

A United States Map, a World Map, a calendar, Alphabet Cards, a large black board, a painting of Stonewall Jackson with his wife and daughter, huge built in bookcases, little framed silhouettes with our names and their meanings printed on them, and a bulletin board strip with my siblings’ art work hanging up.

13. Seen anything weird lately?

Yes…like the broken riding lawn mower that our neighbors’ 17 year old son left on our trail…and some friends’ myspace sites…and half of a dead squirrel lying on a bent tree…

14. What do you think of this quiz?

A most creative notion.

15. What is the last film or video you saw?
“Ever After”

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?

A fence, barn, laptop computer, horse and a few goats and rabbits. Maybe a cow or two.

17. Tell me something about you that I don’t know.
I used to talk about buttons when we lived in Uzbekistan. Odd, but I was into buttons. Different colored buttons. I was five years old.

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Change the way Americans eat…and the way elitist scientists teach!

19. Do you like to dance?
Yes, though it probably looks rather silly when I do, seeing that I have no training in it.

20. Comment to George Bush:

I had a dream that you were elected President when I was 10 years old. Then I dreamed that you would be reelected when I was 14 years old. I’ve been praying for you for 6 years. Now you finally know I exist! GOD be with you.

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Ah, Christine Victoria…haha. It drives Rachel crazy every time I say that.

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?

Hmmm…I guess it would have to be after his dad - as long as his name isn’t Ichabod! Hahaha…

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
I’ve already lived on 3 different continents.

24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gate?
Well done, thou good and faithful servant.

25. 4 people who must also do this quiz on THEIR blog:

Rachel, Briana, Ryann, and Jennifer!

Comments

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Aug. 19, 2006 - Untitled Comment

Posted by azzai
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Tuesday, August 15th, 2006

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